I have moved: http://loving-thou.blogspot.com/

Reasons:
1) My bloglink is too manly.
2) I think people will be confused whether this is a girl/a guy's with the content
(Guess what? I just realised that my new blog looks exactly the same except that the background is white now!)

diminishing rate of return

is there like diminishing rate of return when you spend time with someone?

for eg, after a long break overseas and when you return home. mum become extra caring. her home cooked dishes taste heavenly and you tell yourself you are the luckiest girl on earth.

or maybe workload is school is so stressful that one/two hour spend with your sister feels like a great company.

junior looks extra jubilant upon your arrival home. he wagged his tail extremely vigouriously and I swear he smile.

then if you were to spend to much time at home, mum complains about how lazy you are. why don't you find work?! since you are so free, why don't you do some housework?!

or when you keep hanging out with your sister, she pokes her head everytime your handphone vibrates when you receive a message and she ask "who who? guy or girl? is it you got bf never tell me?."

junior keeps sleeping if u stay at home the whole day. oh thanks, even the dog thinks i am invisible.

human are such awkward bunch.

=C

I am very upset right now. If you can't stand emo post, you can stop reading from here.

Anyway, my first semester grade was fucked up. And I seldom use the word "fuck" and that's how bad it is. I was feeling down right depressed after I compared with my friends. (Sociology: reference group theory explains that people don't actually feel contented with what they have in absolute terms but rather they would be happier if they have more IN COMPARISON to their friends. For someone with perhaps zero ambition, I never felt upset before even if I failed all my subjects. I only felt upset if all my friends got A and I got F. It is the sense of inferiority that upsets me more than the absolute grade.) I told myself I have to work much harder for my second semester but our group just screwed up our last presentation. Maybe I am overreacting because it is a mod I can S/U and presentation only consist on 25%. But the feeling of "I never do my best is really shitty." It was like Sec 1, like JC1, like my first sememster in uni. Apparently, I am a very slow adapter. (My excuse for lousy grades everytime.) Don't ask me what happened. I don't like the blame game when it's over. My only regret is I didn't insist on the preparation that I should have and I know I need it. We reharsed so many times for PW to reach a satisfactory standard. I should have done it again too.

I really feel very lousy right now. Accompishied nothing in life. I seemed to have no positive quality except "乖". And is that even positive these days anyway? Anyone can be 乖 if they want to. The only thing you need is to like conventional. I rather be smart, witty, fast, quick... and many other "active" characters.

Btw, when I said I really want a boyfriend, I don't really mean it. What I want is someone to marry. I am not interested in a relationship. I don't like wasting my energy in something I see no end. Yes, I am very lonely but I know I would feel worse if I start dating the wrong guy.

Starting point: Love

='c

Regret?

If you could turn back time, would you have done everything differently? Would you have said the things you said? Did you regret the outcome?

But I didn't regret. I would have done it all the same. I did what I should do.
Moving forward. I am trying to move forward although I can't see what's infront of me.

Sleep is the end. I want the end. Night!

Annoyed.

I know you are nice generally.

But why did you tell others to help you do things when you want it so specifically?

I am having PMS now. Please ignore me.

Facebook r/s status

My heart sinks a little (for myself) everytime I see this.